Love and Hope
by tv-addict007
Summary: All she had wanted was a better life. For her and for those she cared the most for. But once again, her life was intruded by pain and loss. She seemed to never get a peaceful life, but maybe it was how it should be. She was a fighter and once again, she'll fight for the ones she loves. TIVA
1. Prologue

**Hi everyone. I know, something new again, but an idea struck me and I just couldn't stop writing and planning.**

**So, please give it a try.  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS.**

* * *

**Prologue**

Tony ran as fast as he could through the narrow corridor, trying to move steadily on the swaying ground. He tried to put some distance between him and his pursuers, but in the end, it wouldn't matter how much distance he had to them. He was caught with no chance of an escape.

Tony was on a small freighter somewhere in the Pacific. He was undercover as one of the sailors, but somehow his cover had been blown. He had no idea how, though. He had been very careful, hadn't tried to draw any attention on him. Somebody must have betrayed him. But this wasn't his only worry at the time.

The freighter was caught up in the middle of a heavy storm and before he was chased through the ship, he heard rumors that there was a leak somewhere and that water was flooding slowly but steadily into the ship. It wouldn't take long and the freighter will sink down to the bottom of the ocean. Tony didn't know why, but those men wanted to capture him rather than try to get of this damn ship as soon as possible. In Tony's mind, they were crazy. Crazy and stupid, because he couldn't escape, couldn't get off the ship and they didn't need to pursue him. He'd be dead soon, anyway. The only chance he had was to reach one of the lifeboats before them. But it was just a slim chance.

He looked over his shoulder to see how much distance was between him and the men, as he rounded a corner and crashed into something hard. Tony could barely keep himself standing on his feet, while he stumbled a little backwards and looked up to see into what he had run. The only thing he saw was a fist and he reacted to slow to dodge it. This time he went down by this surprising attack.

The seaman who knocked him down, grabbed him on his collar and crossed Tony's arms in a painful position. It didn't take long before the others arrived at the scene."What are we doing with him?"

The captain thought briefly about it, as the ship swayed suddenly hard to the left and everyone was pressed against the wall. "We don't have time for that. We have to get off the ship. Chain him. The water masses will kill him slowly and painfully!"

Tony started to panic. There was no way he'll die drowning! "What?! You can't do this!"

"Oh, I can and I will. Bruno, take him down to the hold and take of the fact that he won't be able to flee."

"You're making a mistake!" shouted Tony to him as he was dragged to the hold. He tried the whole way to change the mind of this huge man of a sailor, tried to get out of the grip of Bruno, but he had no chance. He was unarmed, without backup and in no way a threat to anyone right now.

The whole time Bruno stayed silent and when they reached the room, he tied a rope around Tony, so that he was bound to a metal column. "Come on, man! You can't just leave me here!"

"This is what happens to traitors. They're eradicated."

"But maybe I have some information that could be of use for you." tried Tony to lure him.

A short glimmer of hope charged through Tony when Bruno paused his movement thoughtfully. But it vanished as quickly as it came when the giant man made his way out of the hold without releasing Tony.

"Hey!" yelled Tony after him, but he was ignored. An immense bang roared through the ship and it tipped strongly to the right. Tony closed his eyes and tried to find a solution for his current problem. It couldn't end like this, could it? Tied to a column, drowning to the bottom of the Pacific? Did he really live through the plague to just die such a banal way? All alone by himself?

Suddenly he remembered his small knife he had fastened on his right leg. Because the giant tied him rather securely to the column, he couldn't move his upper body. He raised his right leg and tried to reach the knife, but he couldn't. Only a few inches were missing. He tried to lift his leg higher and cursed himself that he hadn't taken care of his fitness lately. He feared that his leg will spasm soon as he finally got a hold of the knife.

"Ha!" cheered Tony about his success. It was a small knife but it was at least something. It represented hope. Hope that he may once again have a chance to get off that ship alive. He began to saw through the rope.

An ear-deafening noise came from one of the corners behind Tony, but he didn't try to turn around and look what happened. He continued sawing the rope. Every second counted, because every second he didn't saw, was one second closer to his death. The crew was without a doubt already in the lifeboats and he just hoped that they hadn't used all of them.

By now he sawed through the first part of the rope, but there still remained too much of the rope. He briefly looked around the room as he continued to free himself and he faltered with his work as he heard a noise that was anything but reassuring. He heard water. There was water flooding into the room. It came from the same corner from where the metallic noise had come from. Now he really needed to hurry up!

When he was halfway through the rope, the water already reached his ankles. He concentrated himself fully on his task and sawed as fast as he could, because he hadn't a lot of time anymore. The water level rose quickly. Another metallic sound chimed and he prayed to god that it hadn't been another leak, otherwise he wouldn't make it off the ship alive and will be forever buried on the seabed, the ship being his iron coffin.

After another seven minutes, the rope was sawed through enough that Tony could slip out of his cage at the column. Meanwhile the water reached his thighs. He didn't wait long until he waded through the water towards the door. The corridor looked the same as the hold. Everywhere was water and it rose steadily.

Tony struggled from corridor to corridor. He exhaled relieved when he reached the last corridor that will lead him directly to the deck, but his anticipation was soon gone when he rounded the last corner and noticed the closed door. He stopped and tried to open it, but it didn't move one bit.

He considered briefly whether he should stay and try to open the door, or if he should try his luck at the other door, two corridors down. Without putting much more thought into it, he hurried down the corridor towards the other one. What he did forget however, was that he had to go down a floor. It wasn't a long corridor he had to pass through until he would go up again, but when he stood in front of the stairs, he saw that the level below was already under water.

Determined to fight to the end, he inhaled deeply and dived into the cold water. He could hardly see anything and because his lungs weren't the best anymore, they soon started to burn. They thirsted for oxygen. Oxygen, he couldn't get at the moment. As fast as he could, he tried to reach the stairs that'll lead him up again. He wanted out of the dark, cold water that threatened to devour him.

Finally he reached the stairs and he plunged out of the water, breathing in as much air as he could. His body trembled from the cold water, but he ignored it and ran to the door. He couldn't do anything against the coldness, he had to just live with it at the moment. He was in the middle of nowhere and his fight for his life was technically pointless. He hadn't a way off the ship and he didn't know any island that was close to his position that he could reach swimming. But still, his survival instincts pushed him further.

When he saw the door he could have broken out in tears of joy. It was open! Water flowed unhindered into the ship, but it wasn't too much right now. But that will surely change soon.

Tony ran to the deck. Nobody could be seen and because of the bad water, he couldn't see if the crew made it successfully off of the freighter. He ran to the right side of the ship, where he knew the lifeboats were stored, but as he arrived there, he went into a full panic mode. All boats were gone!

Again, there was a loud, metallic noise and when he turned around he was hit from something big and hard into his side and was catapulted off the ship into the ocean. The last thing he remembered were the huge water masses that devoured him**.**

* * *

**Should I continue with this story?**


	2. Chapter 1

**Thanks for taking interest in my new story and thank you for your lovely reviews.**

**This story is really just beginning with this chapter and Tony won't be in any of the next few chapters, but don't worry there'll be enough of him in later ones.  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS.**

* * *

**Chapter 1**

**Tel Aviv, 3 years later**

Ziva sat in the visitor room of Mossad. The room hadn't changed since her days at Mossad, it was still cold and poorly furnished. It consisted just of a table and four chairs, no windows, no plants and no water donator. Nothing that could make the wait more pleasant.

She sat worriedly on her chair. Ziva had been sitting there for a half an hour, waiting on Deputy Director Elbaz. She had been picked up because of urgent matters, but since he had to wait so long, those matters couldn't be as urgent as they told her. She had always refused to go to Mossad since she left the US. For the last six months, Mossad tried to recruit her again but not as an officer. They tried to get her as a trainer.

Ziva always turned down the offer as soon as it had been stated. She wanted to start a new life, had left her family in D.C. for this new chance. She wouldn't just throw it away by going back to Mossad, inviting in pain and loss again and she really had been happy in the last three and a half years. She had wanted a peaceful and quite life and she got it. It had been difficult at the beginning, she had nothing and was on her own. She had never thought that a new beginning could be that hard. There hadn't been one day she hadn't missed her American friends and even if it had become less over the years, she still thought daily about them.

Now she had been working at a little local school for the last two years. Those kids had her full attention and she taught them to how to read and write, she played with them and hugged them close to her if they were sad. When she had been still an agent, she'd have never thought that she'd work with children one day. Not that she didn't like kids, it was just difficult for her. But meanwhile her uneasiness around them was gone and she was happy about every day she could spend with them.

Today she wouldn't see those little angles. This morning she had been rudely woken up by Adam. She hadn't seen him in a long time and she already thought that Mossad had sent him to talk her into coming back. Before he could have even said anything to her, she told him that she'd still had no interest of coming back and that he could just leave again. He had just stared at her before he shook his head and told her, nearly whispering it, that she should come with him, that it hadn't nothing to do with the standing job offer.

Her immediate response had been to decline again. She didn't want to go with him, didn't evenwant to be anywhere near the building in which Mossad planned their missions. However, something seemed to depress him, had something on him she couldn't place. He knew something that he didn't want to tell her yet or wasn't authorized to tell her. In his eyes had flickered something that looked like pity. Just for a moment, but it was enough for Ziva's resolve to break. Whatever it was that he or Mossad wanted with her, it had nothing to do with a job offer. Silently he went back to the car and waited for her while she called her colleague from the local school to tell her that she couldn't come in today.

Adam was a friend. He'd never interfere with her life just to try to get her to do something she didn't want to do. That had probably been the reason why they had sent him and also the reason why she had accompanied with him back to Mossad. It was about something else than a job offer.

On the drive to Mossad he did not once say a word and when they had arrived, he led her to the visitor room in which she had been since then and nobody seemed to dare coming in to tell her what was going on.

When the door finally opened she actually had expected it to be Adam who took mercy on her, but she didn't know the man that entered the room. He was rather young, had short black hair, a striking face and brown eyes. She assumed that he hadn't been long with Mossad yet.

"Miss David." greeted the stranger her politely, but she had enough off the games Mossad was playing. She wanted answers. Now.

"Why am I here?"

"The deputy director would like to speak to you."

"And where _is_ she then? I was told it was urgent and now I have been waiting for her for the last thirty minutes without one person coming in and telling me what is going on."

"I'm terribly sorry for the long wait. I just know that it concerns some private matters. Deputy Director Elbaz will talk to you soon. The meeting she is in at the moment is taking longer than planned. But you're authorized to wait in the gardens if you want to. The deputy director thought that you would rather want to wait outside than in this visitor room."

Ziva rolled her eyes. _Authorized to wait outside._ _Nice._ First she had been awoken in the wee hours just to be sitting now at Mossad, waiting for the time Elbaz would find suitable to speak to her. Ziva grabbed her little bag and left the room. Even if she didn't want to admit it, but Elbaz was right, she'd rather wait outside than in this room. She had never liked this room, not even in her days as an officer.

As she stepped out of the building, she breathed in as much fresh air as she could. She spent a lot of time outside and enjoyed every minute of it. This place had always been her favorite one. Although it was just a little garden, not many people came out here which made it something like a quiet and peaceful sanctuary. She had been always able to recharge her energy while planning missions and to collect and sort out her thoughts before opening those thick doors again, walking straight back towards chaos, death and pain.

She walked a few steps as she noticed a movement behind her. When she turned around she saw the young officer standing by the doors, keeping an eye on her. It didn't surprise her. She was here as a guest and guest were always under observation. He'd be with her as long as she waited for Elbaz to show.

She wasn't disconcerted by his presence as she strode down the small path between flower beds, followed by the officer. On both sides were planted roses in all kind of variations. She decided that roses were next to be planted in her garden.

Before she could walk any further down the path, the doors opened and Elbaz entered the small place. Ziva watched as she sent away the officer before walking up to where she stood waiting impatiently for her.

Elbaz smiled apologetic. "I'm sorry for letting you wait. I wanted to come earlier, but a video conference was preventing me to do so."

Since she didn't want to cause a scene, she smiled and swallowed down her annoyance. "I am sure it had been something important that couldn't wait."

"That's right. There are times I don't know what to do first."

"Well, now you are here. Care to elaborate why I am here?" She didn't want to waste any more time at Mossad.

"Of course. You had to wait long enough. I brought you here because there is something you need to know and I didn't want to tell you over the phone. If I'd be in your position, I wouldn't want to get to know this over the phone."

Ziva had no idea what Elbaz was trying to say to her, which led her to not knowing if she should be irritated or nervous. After a short break Elbaz continued. "It's about your former partner, Agent DiNozzo. He was undercover on a freighter, which had been used for smuggling. He had been a member of the crew for one month, before the ship got caught up in a bad storm and sunk."

Ziva was shocked. She couldn't believe what she just heard. Had he made it? Had he been admitted in a hospital? Was he _alright_? So many questions and she had no answers to them. Not yet. "Is he alright?"

"Ziva, that had been three years ago. He is missing ever since. Until yesterday, that is."

Ziva looked hopefully at Elbaz. She was as eager to hear the news as much as she was scared of them. She had absolutely no idea if Elbaz had good new or bad ones, her face showed no signs of which one it could be. Her heart pondered in her chest while she waited.

"I'm sorry, Ziva. The search has been canceled yesterday and as of today, Special Agent DiNozzo had been officially stated as dead."

She had never thought that just one sentence was able to shatter her life into little pieces. She had always feared that one of the few people close to her could get hurt and now the man who may be closest to her had been declared dead. Ziva downright hear how the remaining pieces of her life clattered to the ground and everything else was faded out. Her heart hammered so strong in her chest that she had the feeling it would burst out.

* * *

**I hope you liked it. I wish you all a nice week :)**


	3. Chapter 2

**I'm very sorry that it took so long, I'm very busy right now.**

**I know you're going to hate me for what I'm saying next, but this will be the last update of this story for a while. It's not because I've lost inspiration, but I have just no time to write. I'll have my final exams in a month and have to concentrate on my studies. I'll promise that as soon as the exams are over I'll update again! The same goes with my other stories. I'll try to update each of them before I take a break on writing. I'm sorry to keep you hanging like this, but those exams are very important for my future.**

**I want to thank everyone who followed/favorited/reviewed. It means a lot to me.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS.**

* * *

**Chapter 2**

Gibbs opened tiredly his front door. It had been a hell of a day, but somehow every day had been hard for the last three years. They had closed a case today and went out for drinks afterwards. Since Tony disappeared, they have met each other more outside of work. They would just sit together and maybe even look after their missing friend, but until now they haven't found him. He was still missing somewhere in the Pacific.

He went directly to his basement. He needed to think and he could always think best while working on something in his basement. Yesterday his Senior Field Agent had been officially been declared as dead. _Special Agent Anthony D. DiNozzo had died in the name of his country._ Gibbs had been feeling nauseous as he had heard those words. They had just given up with the search and with that, they had given up all hope of ever finding him.

Step by step he went down the stairs. He wasn't in a hurry, his energy long since gone. He was just about to pour himself a glass of bourbon when he suddenly stopped with his movement. His gut told him that he wasn't alone. His fingers slid slowly to his spare gun he hid in his workbench. As quick as he could he turned around and pointed his gun into the darkness.

He didn't see any movements and Gibbs already started to doubt his instincts. He looked closer and tried to recognize anything that didn't belong there and he was relieved that he hadn't been mistaken as he made out the outlines of a person sitting in the dark corner. The person wasn't moving and as he still pointed his gun at the unknown intruder, he reached for the small desk lamp and turned it towards the corner.

It wasn't that much lighter, but now he could at least see everything and he didn't need long to recognize who exactly was sitting in front of him. He hadn't thought that he'd see her again. She hadn't changed much, her body tone was a little bit darker but that didn't surprise him. This was normal after more than three years of the hot Israeli sun. Her hair was open and curly and while she looked alive and well, he eyes were empty.

Ziva just sat there, staring into nothingness. He didn't know if she had noticed him yet, but she seemed not to. If he wouldn't see her breathing he'd believe that she was dead. Gibbs didn't know why exactly she was here, but there was really just one conclusion if he had to guess.

Someone must have informed her about Tony. Gibbs had wanted to inform her himself not long after he had gotten the news about Tony's disappearance, but in the end he couldn't do it. He didn't want to tell her while they were just starting to search for him. Ziva would've clung to the little bit of hope they had had of finding him only to be let down in the end. As far as she was concerned, she was in Israel living a normal life until now. He would've told her soon, but it seemed that somebody was faster than him. Of course he had thought that she deserved to know that her ex-partner was missing and there were days he had thought about calling her, but he didn't. She had bid farewell to a life with pain and loss, had begun a new life and Gibbs hadn't had wanted to pull her back into this mess. Not without further information. In Gibbs opinion they hadn't really searched for his agent and while they ended this thing they had called search, he still believed that Tony was somewhere out there.

Gibbs put his gun away and reached for a second glass that he filled with bourbon. He grabbed a wooden chair, put it next to Ziva and passed her the second glass. After she ignored him for a few seconds, she accepted it.

"I have tried to call him. Several times. But he had not answered any of them. When I arrived I went to his apartment immediately, but someone else is living there now. I didn't know where to go to other than here." said Ziva in a rough and emotionless voice. She had yet to look at him for the first time in years and now he knew again why he hadn't told her any of this.

Gibbs remained silent. What should he even response to that? Those were all just facts, facts that were proving that Tony wasn't in their lives anymore. Hadn't been for some time now. Besides he wasn't that much into talking, especially about things like this and she knew that. He was someone that comforted someone silently. By just being there.

"You have his goldfishes in your living room."

He had to smile at that. When the time had come to clear out Tony's apartment, he and the team had everything put into storage. But things weren't that easy with those two goldfishes, so he just had taken them with him.

Finally she looked at him, her eyes searching for something, an answer to a question she hadn't asked yet. He could barely recognize the little light that came back into her eyes as she seemed to find an answer to something.

"Why?"

Why? Well maybe it was because they were a part of Tony. Maybe it was because he still had hope. He still hoped to find his surrogate son because there was no way that Tony wouldn't have found a way off the ship. He may have always misled people by his behaviour but he was one of the smartest agents he knew. They had found the freighter but the lifeboats had been missing. There was no trace of the crew. He had clung to the last bit of hope while everyone else had just gave up.

Gibbs got up and went to his workbench. Ziva watched confused how he opened one of the drawers and searched for something. When he came back he unfolded a big sheet and she realized that it was a map. It was a detailed nautical chart of the Pacific.

"Somewhere here must have been the freighter Tony was on." told Gibbs and pointed to a point near the end of the map. "Do you see those islands there? They just searched half of them before giving up. They declared the search for too expensive for just one man. The area was too big and the chance of finding him alive to slim."

Ziva studied the map. He was right, there are a lot of islands. She hadn't even known that there were so many of little, uninhabited islands. "So are you trying to tell me that you think that Tony's still alive?" The rising level of hope could be heard in her voice and he saw how Ziva came slowly back to life in front of him. Like him, she now clung to the last how there was.

"There are so many island that I just can't believe that he couldn't rescue himself on one of them. My gut is telling me that he isn't dead and that's the reason why I won't give up."

"Your gut feeling had never been wrong, Gibbs."

"Well, that means that we'll have to search for him on our own."

* * *

**I wish you all a good week and sorry again for putting a break on my stories.**

**Next update is planned around the end of May.**

**Maybe I'll finally find some time during my break to answer to your reviews. I already feel bad for not having it done by now!**

**Please feel free to get in touch with me via PM or my twitter account (at tv_addict007) if you want to know something about my stories or have questions in general.**


End file.
